WHY BE YOURSELF, WHEN YOU CAN BE WHO EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO BE.

What words Can I use you describe the FALSE SENSE OF SELF??

Does it refer to a constant state of pretense? Otherwise known as being fake. Or does the term refer to being comfortable and confident in everyone else’s perception of our character?

If you guessed the latter then you probably have an insight to what this post may potentially be about. 

I had a mini epiphany during the year… well, not so much an epiphany more like the intelligent section of a rather pointless four-hour phone conversation with a good friend. In which I realised, that I had spent most of my teenage years playing a character. A character that I was comfortable within, and more importantly one that everyone liked and accepted.  As you would when you land your first acting gig I was careful not to break out of character.  Ensuring that my actions, thoughts and words were reflective of this pleasing side of me. So much so that I suppressed anything else that didn’t conform to this already perceived personality. To make matters worse I don’t even have an Oscar to show for it. 

What is interesting anyhow is that this character was derived from a facet of my personality. So no, I wasn’t being fake. But was I was being true to myself? And if so, to what extent? Which brings me to my question. Does the version of who we think we're supposed to be, or the version of ourselves that everyone else is well acquainted with; really equate to us being true to ourselves? Or rather does the term “true to self” refer to a state of complete acceptance of the multiple dimensions that form our personalities.

Now 
I could go on and on about the problem with consciously amplifying desirable aspects of our personality and suppressing less desirable ones. However I’m going to keep it short and sweet. Firstly and quite frankly life is to short to spend it fitting in to a status quo. I mean did High School Musical teach you nothing!!  Now to adapt a more serious tone. When we constantly play a perceived character it, seeps into our subconscious, and the distinction between our real selves and the character begins to blur. More often than not, this then leads to an inexplicable inner conflict...you know, the ones we tend to go through at puberty but still suffer from in mild doses during adulthood. And trust me going through life conflicted and not sure whom you really are is EXHAUSTING! So why waste all that energy. When you could make the conscious decision to be true to whom you really are.

I generally don’t like to end with a distinctive conclusion, partly because I never have a good ending. But mostly because my thought process and opinions change, as I grow and definitive endings don’t leave much room for change. Who knows my next post might be about faking it till you make it LOL I joke I’m really not that sporadic. What I would say is the most rewarding part of my journey has been finding true joy in wholly accepting every facet of my multi dimensional, unusually quirky and slightly clingy personality. In doing so I have been fortunate to be surrounded by people who are willing to accept and accommodate all of me… the good the bad and the not so attractive.

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” 

~Brené Brown

       Till Next Time
Love Tee